Too weird to live. Too rare to die.
2845
psychofactz:

More Facts on Psychofacts :)

mememememememe
….me 100x worse soon…

psychofactz:

More Facts on Psychofacts :)

mememememememe

….me 100x worse soon…

385205

tom-sits-like-a-whore:

reasons to date me

  • no pressure to wear pants in my presence
  • or any clothes at all really
  • but it’s up to you
  • u can be big spoon or little spoon
  • totally your choice
  • i’m always ready to make out
  • aLwaYs
  • also u don’t even have to buy me things just maybe an ice cream cone every once in a while that’s it 
  • i’ll let you lick it though
  • i mean the ice cream cone
  • well not just the ice cream cone
228930
I’m used to it
— The saddest thing you can hear someone say. (via suckingonlarry)
404900

breadmaakesyoufat:

i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying

"oh no my potato"

(Source: breadmaakesyoufat)

1

Sitting on my bathroom floor silently bawling my eyes out. What the hell am I gonna do when the only person I tell stuff to leaves? I already feel like im slowly dying. What’s gonna happen to me then? But thats my life for you. Forever alone. I seriously dont know how much longer I can take these feelings….

186286
via: lynabean
source: jaesama

jaesama:

guys with sleeve tattoos wearing dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up. fuck man.

231396

swimminginmainstream:

clarasoswalds:

THIS GUY DOES A COVER OF LET IT GO IN THE VOICES OF DIFFERENT DISNEY/PIXAR CHARACTERS OH MY GOD 

Reblogging for the spot on Jim Cummings impression.

1114
sodamnrelatable:

More quotes
2529
psychofactz:

More Facts on Psychofacts :)

Me. People annoy me.
2043
psychofactz:

More Facts on Psychofacts :)
7890
death-by-lulz:

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

I feel you, Bart..
493062
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via dorkvader)

i feel like this should be published and sold everywhere

(via the-hammer-of-fenris)

NUMBER 8!!!

(Source: internmarlee)

49852
via: oh-hate
source: mikedirnt
immybird:

thedeathofsaintjimmy:


Interviewer: Billie Joe, how do you contain Tre? You don’t even try, do you?Billie Joe: No, you don’t. I tune it out. 

sums up Green Day basically 

This is the most perfect gif ever.

immybird:

thedeathofsaintjimmy:

Interviewer: Billie Joe, how do you contain Tre? You don’t even try, do you?
Billie Joe: No, you don’t. I tune it out. 

sums up Green Day basically 

This is the most perfect gif ever.

(Source: mikedirnt)